It’s widely believed that conservatives are and should
be opposed to gay marriage. I’d like to argue the opposite. While it is rarely
either fashionable or politically correct, conservatism is a respectable
political standpoint that emphasizes the importance of tradition, institution,
virtue, stability, family, local ways of life, and a community’s moral fabric
(see my earlier blogpost: http://hughbreakey.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/the-meanings-of-conservatism.html). But like every
political theory, it can be used as a rhetorical device for people pursuing
other goals entirely. I argue that gay marriage is a site where the
conservative should take a principled stand against the prude. I survey what I
take to be the three main arguments as to why the conservative might wish to
prohibit gay marriage, and I aim to show that – far from supporting such a
stance – the conservative has powerful reason to pursue the reverse course.
Conservatives need to start taking marriage seriously.
Preliminaries
What follows is a conservative argument; it takes as
its basis the sorts of considerations that conservatism as a political theory takes
seriously. It is not, however, a religious
argument – religion will be relevant to what follows inasmuch as religion shapes
the traditions and moral fabric of a society, but no further. I won’t pretend
to answer questions purely of religious doctrine. (Though, since I speak to a
predominantly Christian society, it is perhaps worth at least noting that I am
unaware of Jesus saying anything whatsoever about homosexuality, and that
no-one – at least, no-one who has a daughter – could possibly be convinced to
take on board the morality relayed in the tale of Sodom.)
At the outset, the ‘liberal’ or
justice-based reasons for allowing gay marriage are straightforward enough.
That is, the law should treat all people equally, and a liberal society should
not dictate what forms of life its citizens choose to pursue. When it comes to questions
of the good life, the liberal state should be ‘neutral’ amongst all of the different
lifestyle conceptions.
A conservative, it goes without saying, will hardly be
impressed by such claims. Particularly in the context of marriage. In such a
case we are not talking in terms of criminalization and toleration. No-one is
demanding that homosexuality be outlawed, which many conservatives would acknowledge
to be an unacceptable violation of individual liberty. Instead, the debate is
only in terms of what should be recognized, encouraged or valued in a
community. That is where the dispute lies in this question. And surely, the
conservative will say, here, at least, there can be no question of liberal
‘neutrality’. If the liberal wishes to outlaw all marriage, and allow only
civil union (if that?) to have legal recognition, then they may with consistency
lobby for such a policy. But what the liberal cannot do is to accept the
prerogative of society to uphold and value certain relationships (like those
anointed with marriage) and then complain of its non-neutrality in making that
valuation. Of course such a valuation
is non-neutral – that is just what it
means to evaluate.
Argument 1: Prizing what is going
right. Gay marriage does not pay due respect
to traditions (in this case marriage) that are functioning and important to the
society
One of the basic conservative insights is that
‘critique’ has no privileged place in political discourse. In other words,
criticism of society is not any more important than singing its praises. Thinking
that the society that guides you or the authority that constrains you is doing
something wrong is no remarkable intellectual feat (every two-year-old
instinctually does this countless times every day when they don’t get their own
way). To the contrary, understanding and respecting what a society does right
is at least as important as reflecting on what it does wrong. With this in
mind, the conservative may worry that gay marriage pays insufficient attention
to what is going right in our society – namely, the (mostly-)functioning
institution of marriage. In particular, it might be a concern that the reform
wants to remake an institution – marriage
– that is, for all its problems, still a profound source of meaning and
security in our modern world.
I mention this point only to reject it. The proposed
reform does prize what society is
doing right. The argument for the reform is that marriage remains, for many, a
valuable and fulfilling institution, and that the stamp of social approval on a
commitment between two loving people is a desirable thing. That seems to me the
best press marriage has had since divorce rates were first publicized. Indeed,
one could imagine that the conservative could feel quietly vindicated about the
desires of gays to be married. That gay people wish to be married is an
endorsement of many deeply held conservative beliefs. Radicals for many years
now have been predicting and advocating the demise of the ‘bourgeois’
institution of marriage and the family. That a group of people systematically
excluded from the institution feel a desire not to spurn it, but rather to be included within it, is – it seems to me
– an emphatic rejection of the radical and anti-conservative stance. It
underscores that committed, stable, long-term loving relations between partners
is indeed a deep need and value in many human lives, and, all the more, that
the social sanction, recognition and approval of such relationships by the
community is more relevant than ever. Both these points are exactly what
conservatives believe and are straightforward rebuttals of radical predictions.
Argument 2: Gay Marriage is not
socially valuable as it does not contribute to childbirth and child-rearing.
Marriage can be viewed as a socially valued
institution because it is a necessary condition for propagating children and
effective child-rearing. Both of these are legitimate concerns of the
conservative, since they both carry plain implications for the survival of the
society. On such a basis it might be argued that, as gay marriage does not
contribute to this valuable social outcome, it is not therefore worthy of the
same social and legal recognition.
Ethicist Professor Stephen Cohen (UNSW) recently responded
to such arguments with a ‘shame on you’ accusation, suggesting that proponents
of this view are advancing it only to cover up their real concern, which is
with what they perceive as the immorality of homosexuality (which will be
covered in the following section). He may well be right, but I will here take it
as an argument on its face worth consideration by the conservative.
It is often responded to this argument that marriage
is not centrally organized around propagation and child-rearing. Married
couples are not required or even necessarily encouraged to have children.
Marriage vows usually contain no declaration of intentions to raise children;
often children are not mentioned at all. Persons who have no physical capacity
to have children can be married. Persons who have no intention of having children
– who are explicit in rejecting any such intention – can be married.
Contraceptive methods of all types are available to married persons. Persons
who have deliberately removed their capacity to have children (such as through
a vasectomy) can be married. Indeed, the point here is not only that they can be married, but that there is no
sense in which they are not socially perceived as being genuinely married. No one is attempting to deny them this status. It
is not held, for instance, that if Amy and Bob really took their marriage
seriously, they would have children, and that until they do, they are really
just enacting a sort of ersatz version of marriage.
There is a conservative response to all this. The
point might be made that social approval and recognition of stable, long-term,
loving relationships between men and women in
general is worthwhile, so that those that do go on to have children are
more likely to have such relationships. In other words, it is easier to support
and value the broad type of relationship in question than just to target the
instances where that relationship is really socially valuable (viz. when it includes child-rearing).
Now this response is plausible enough, so far as it
goes. The problem is only in thinking that this is any sort of reason not to
allow gay marriage. The entire response is founded on the idea that it may be
worth socially encouraging a type of relationship in general so that it can be
assured in the subset of cases where it really matters for the community (when
children are involved). If that is right, however, then it is obvious that gay
marriage is worth approval for just the same reason that
heterosexual-marriage-without-children is. Namely, in order to emphasize to
everyone in society the value of the committed, long-term loving relationship between
two partners.
Two further points are worth noting, in this regard.
First, if marriage really is a bulwark to child-rearing, then gay marriage matters
because gay couples can – of course –
have children. They can adopt or foster children, and lesbian couples with
access to sperm donors can also have children. A bisexual person may have had a
child in a previous relationship, but now be in a gay relationship. And so on.
Prohibiting gay marriage in all such instances would amount to a society deliberately
prohibiting a child from being reared under the aegis of the institution which
(the conservative response believes) is fundamentally designed for that
purpose. A secure and stable home life suitable for rearing children does not
depend upon a heterosexual couple being in residence; the crucial thing is the
security and stability itself.
The second point is that it is highly doubtful that
the only reason the conservative
values marriage is because of its consequences for children. Marriage is often
held by conservatives to be the central glue that holds a society together, and
this is because it forms a strong, stabilizing part of a larger web of social relations.
Similar to but more potent than friendship, marriage cements, so far as
possible, parts of the social fabric together. Furthermore, it encourages
socially useful traits like prudence, investment, temperance, sacrifice, loyalty,
trustworthiness and productivity. So too the institution plays a role in the understanding
of other social relations: aunts, uncles, sons, daughters, brothers- and
sisters-in-law, and so on. Married people are for the conservative not valuable
simply as breeders. And if this is right, then the conservative reasons for
valuing and promoting marriage apply with equal force to gays as much as
heterosexuals.
Argument 3: Including gays into the institution of
marriage will weaken the sanctity of that institution.
Granting that the desire
of gays to be married is good news for the institution of marriage (as concluded
in Argument 1), it may yet be argued that allowing their inclusion could weaken
the power and significance of that institution. The thought here is based on
the view that many people view homosexuality as immoral, disquieting and/or
disgusting. Now it may be in some sense unfortunate or even bigoted that many
people think this way, but that judgement does not prevent it from being a fact
that they do. And if many people do indeed hold those views, then their
perception of the sanctity and specialness of marriage can only be undermined
when it henceforth includes gays within its compass. Some of the meaning of
marriage will have been eroded, and that is a concern for the conservative.
But which of marriage’s meanings
are we upholding? Doubtless there is a tradition, or part of a tradition, that celebrates
a man and a women specifically committing to each other; that is, it matters
that it is a man and a woman.
But there is another tradition, or another part of the
marriage tradition, that holds that what is special is the love itself, the commitment itself. It holds that these elements are what are being picked
out as worthy parts of a life well-lived, and an important part of the social
glue that holds us all together. Now if that is right, then the question of gay
marriage asks us to choose which parts of the marriage tradition are important.
Because if it is the lifelong love or
commitment (or at least the noble and determined attempt at pursuing these)
that is worthwhile and valuable, then we cannot pretend that they are not
worthwhile and valuable wherever we may find them.
Here’s an analogy: It would be like a person at a
football match needing to check the skin-colour of the player who took a specky
to determine whether it really was a great mark, or not. Put aside the racism
of such a person; that’s not the issue here. The issue is that the person doesn’t get footy. They don’t understand
– they are blind to – the values internal to the sport. They are unable to
apprehend the act according to the standards of the marking contest as set down
by the sport’s tradition and practice: bravery, altitude, strength, skill,
quality-of-opposition, stakes and so on. And if a sporting body did believe
that race mattered when it came to such questions, it would be defying the
internal values of the sporting tradition. In other words, a conservative about the sport – a
‘custodian of the game’ as Don Bradman aptly expressed it in the context of
cricket – would have every reason to be horrified by such a distortion of the standards
of excellence of the sport, by the infection of the tradition with standards
imported from outside its practice.
So too, I submit, for marriage. For all those who
value the institution’s eulogizing of steadfast love and commitment, through
thick and thin, as the guiding star of its tradition, the demand that gays be
excluded from marriage can only diminish their respect for the institution, and
cut against the perceived grain of its tradition. For now they are being told
they got it wrong, and despite everything in all their vows about love and
sacrifice through thick and thin, marriage wasn’t
really about such things after all. The exclusion from gays
from marriage was consonant with the internal values of marriage only when
society held a variety of views on homosexuality – in particular that it was a
form of insanity, and rightly illegalized – that implied that gays couldn’t
really love and commit in the ways sanctified by marriage. Without the support
of these now widely debunked myths, the internal values of marriage apply to gay partnerships
as much as they apply to heterosexual ones.
The fundamental point here is that traditions are
always contested and often conflicting, and the conservative needs to be aware
(as Roger Scruton himself makes clear) that for this reason it is impossible to
uphold every tradition at once. The conservative stands here at a crossroads,
needing to decide which tradition of marriage will be upheld. The one that is
responsive to a long-standing felt immorality of, or distaste for,
homosexuality? Or the one that unreservedly makes central lifelong love and
steadfast commitment? I submit that, when conceived on these grounds, no
conservative can opt for the former. The latter picks out exactly the values
and virtues of marriage that are prized by the conservative; it foregrounds the
qualities that make it contribute to the moral fabric and ongoing resilience of
the community. To believe that a dislike of gays is sufficient to warrant their
exclusion from the institution of marriage is not to take seriously the worth
of marriage.
The same point, too, can be made with respect to
religion. (Now I’m not religious myself, so I’m drawing here on Rev. Noel
Preston’s illuminating thoughts on the issue here: http://www.journeyonline.com.au/showArticle.php?articleId=3368) There is an important part
of the marriage tradition that values and celebrates a couple coming together with God, deciding to intertwine their
lives together and with their Maker. Now if that
decision and commitment is what is valuable (either in terms of a
life-well-lived, or for the life of the community), then that is a reason to
respect it wherever it is found. This is not to say that every religion needs
to marry homosexuals; that is of course a question of religious doctrine. But
the question here is the one confronting the conservative, weighing up what
traditions to sustain in cases where they must choose. As before, it is the noble and uplifting
elements of marriage – love, commitment, holiness – that are on the side of the
institution as it might be enlarged to include gays. And it is a quite
different set of elements and traditions being invoked by those who would
prohibit it. The traditions clash, and the conservative must choose which will
triumph at the expense of the other.
But for the genuine conservative, there is no choice
whatsoever here. A marriage tradition that downplays the values and virtues of
lifelong love, companionship, stability and steadfast commitment as they rank in
comparison to the gender of the participants is no marriage tradition at all.
It splices from the tradition exactly the values and virtues that make it precious
from a conservative standpoint.
* * *
The foregoing arguments combine to make a simple
point. Conservatism – or, at least, conservatism as a political theory, with
its focus on tradition, virtue, moral fabric and the survival of the society –
is not the same thing as prudishness. The prude believes that what everyone
else does sexually is the prude’s business. The prude wants to know what is
being done by others, and wants to control what is being done by others. But
there is no political theory of prudishness. No-one pretends that one person’s
salacious desire for prying and intruding into other people’s sexuality
constitutes any reason that society should cave in to that desire. So the prude
presents their desires as if they were grounded conservative arguments. They
are like the drunk who searches for his lost keys under the streetlamp, not
because there is a good chance they are there, but because it is the only place
he is likely to find them. The prude cannot pretend they have justice or
liberty on their side; traditions of human rights don’t accept the law
intruding into such private matters and lifestyles. Conservatism, however, does allow that such private acts can
fall within the appropriate scope of law, and certainly of rightful public
opinion and sanction. So the attempt is made by the prude to colonize the
conservative stance. But to say that the conservative agrees that sexual and
other ‘private’ matters are fair game for social concern is not the same as
saying those matters must be constrained in whatever way the prude desires. For
there are many traditions at work in any functioning society, not only prudish
ones. And some of those traditions, such as the values internal to the
institution of marriage – steadfast love and lifelong commitment – are not ones
with which the conservative should wish to trifle.
Ultimately, the conservative throughout history has
known that it is the internal enemies that are the most dangerous. If what I
have argued here is right, conservatives must remember that their concerns and
goals are not the same as those of the prude, and they must be ready, when
necessary, to battle the enemy that seeks to infiltrate their ranks and speak
in their name. This, I think, is the serious point behind the popular tweet by Morgan
Freeman: ‘I hate the word homophobia. It’s not a phobia. You are not scared.
You are an asshole.’ In other words, the charge here, another version of
Cohen’s shame-on-you, is: ‘You’re not
a conservative and you should stop pretending you are. You are not animated by genuine
fears for social values and traditions. You are a prude (or maybe you just have
a taste for institutionalized meanness). You are just one more person who
thinks society should be structured to conform to your every prejudice, with no
serious thought whatsoever of what that might do or mean for our society and
its institutions.’
One final point in closing. Sometimes the ‘argument’
given for gay marriage is just given as: ‘C’mon, its 2012! Why are we still
arguing about this?’ On its face, this can seem mere assertion, and can present
social change as being inevitable progress against the embarrassing bigotries
of history. Such a position may seem to be something the conservative will rightly
want to guard against. But it is worth remembering that traditions and
practices are not museum pieces. Some cultural practices are journeys; they have their own internal
momentum (consider the archetype of conservative social practice: the common
law). The blithe
assertion that it is 2012 is, in its way, an appeal to our society’s traditions
– some of them centuries old. It says that we are still continuing on the
journey our ancestors set us upon; that they bequeathed to us unfinished
business that we have been lax in attending to.
It’s 2012, and it’s high time we started taking the
tradition of marriage seriously. It is too important to be left to the prudes.